Sup peoples? The Christmas season is upon us in full swing, and I swear if I hear "Jingle Bell Rock" one more time I'm gonna take a rock to them jingle bells...oh the joys of working in retail. Seriously it's like they play the same 10 songs on repeat...and when I'm working for 5-7 hours...I'm not necessarily keen on hearing Christmas songs on the radio on the way home. :P
Anyways, enough about my musical woes. I do have an actual topic for you today. First though let me say that this was a suggestion. I've had writer's block the last couple days, and I knew I should get a post out soon, so I asked for ideas, and here's what I got, so I hope I do it justice.
Did you ever think that your existence is the reason someone else is alive?
I didn't until fall of 2013. I'm going to tell you a story that I've told very few people. I don't say what I'm going to say because I want the attention, in fact if you never mentioned it to me I would be obliged. I am not ashamed of what I'm about to tell you either. It happened, and that's all there is to it. That being said, here's my story.
I was 16, and I hit one of the hardest times in my life. You all know I've struggled with self-harm. It's been a fight that I've struggled to win, and at that point in my life I wasn't trying very hard. I was also angry with God, because I felt like he had stripped everything I even remotely cared about from me. I felt alone, and quite frankly I thought that my life was worthless. And so, as you've probably figured out by now, I thought the best thing to do was to end the life I hated so much. Obviously I was unsuccessful, but what I see now is that ending my own life was the most selfish thing I have ever done.
Slowly, as I told my friends what I'd done, they were first shocked, then relieved, then adamant that I never do it again. I learned that if I had been successful, there was hardly anything that would have kept a couple of them from following me. And that influence continues. I found out there was another person whose life would have ended up trashed if I was gone.
Guys, you never know who's hurting. Most people would look at me and say "What!? You? No way!" No one would ever suspect that I fought that battle. That person that's always happy and smiling might be the person who cries themselves to sleep every night because they're so upset and their pain is almost too much to bear.
If I could ask you to do one thing it would be to be kind to everyone. Be sincere. If someone asks for help, don't judge and shun them because they have a problem. Even if you can't solve the problem, be there. You might be the reason they hold on and don't give up. They may never tell you that you were that for them, but if it keeps someone from taking their own life, does it really matter? I had people that got me through that dark time of my life, and even though some of them are no longer a part of my life, they are the reason I'm still alive. There are people who have replaced the ones who left. There are people that I continue to be there for. It doesn't matter who they are. I don't know how many people stay because of me, but I try to have a smile for every person I meet, even if I'm hurting.
So there you go. I know it's serious and you probably learned things about me you're sure you might have rather lived your life without knowing. But like I said, I'm not ashamed of my past, because I've been able to help people who have been there more effectively. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone. I guess my point is that no matter who you meet, treat them with kindness, respect, and sincerity.
Anyhow, have a great week, and I'll write at 'cha later. ;) Love ya!
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