Evils of the Night-Chapter 1

Hey guys!  This is the first chapter of a novel my sister is hooked on.  You guessed it, I'm the author.  I just want suggestions.  Is this something you might read?  Should I post more?  Critiques?  Please be honest, because it's another item on the bucket list to finish and publish a novel.  :)  It's kind of long...sorry...

Midnight Magic

Picture this: a serene night in the middle of July. Fireflies are flitting around trees in a forest. The full moon rises over the tops of the highest branches, and crickets sing merrily in the bushes.

It was a night like this that drove Sylvia Thompson into the forest that night. She and her father lived in a small cabin in the forest, and Sylvia had learned its trails and passages by heart. Her faithful follower, Sebastian, leaped through the trees above her as she ran down her favorite trail. He was a gray squirrel she had rescued a year ago. As she ran, her bare feet made no noise on the hardened earth. In fact, the only sound other than Sebastian and the crickets was that of the little creek that ran through the forest.

As she ran, Sylvia looked at her phone. It was 12:15. She smiled. Perfect. She continued to run alongside the creek until she reached it: a cave entrance. She slowed to a walk and entered. Inside the creek gathered into a serene pool. She stopped and looked around. This was her special place. It was were she felt safe and happy. The clock now read 12:30. She watched as the full moon rose. She had never been here at night, but Sylvia decided it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Sebastian came creeping in and climbed up on a rock ledge.

Sylvia laid down on her stomach next to the pool, dipping her fingers into it and watching the drips make little ripples in the water. There was the sound of footsteps at the entrance, and she looked up. It was Brett Evans, her best friend.

“I can see why you dragged me all the way out here.” she said, turning back to the water.

He grinned and sat down next to her. “Isn't it beautiful?”

She nodded, almost mesmerized by the clear blue of the water.

Brett sighed and laid back. The moonlight came in through a crack in the roof of the cave, sending a soft blue light reflecting off the walls.

“Hey, Syl,” he began, “c'mere and watch the moon with me.”

She wriggled around until she lay next to him. The moon was just appearing in the crack. Suddenly, ripples of rainbow light began whizzing around the cave. The water in the pool, once as smooth as glass, now churned like it was in a pot on the stove. Both of them jumped up. Then, out of nowhere, water began to rise from the pool. It looked like a woman, but with wings. Rainbows rippled through her watery form. As soon as she was fully formed, she looked at Sylvia.

“Brett? Why is she staring at me?”

Brett said nothing, just squeezed her shoulder. The water woman reached out her hand to Sylvia. Brett pulled her back. The woman looked up at the moon, which was beginning to slip away, then looked back at Sylvia with panicked eyes.

“I think she wants me to go with her.” Sylvia said.

“No.” Brett hissed.

“Then come with me.” she replied, reaching out to touch the outstretched hand. The woman reached out and grabbed Sylvia's hand, pulling her into the water. Brett grabbed Sylvia's other hand just in time to be swept along with them. They disappeared into the pool just as the moon vanished, leaving the cave in almost complete darkness.

The water woman disappeared as soon as Brett and Sylvia were submerged deep in the pool. They both tried to swim up to the surface, but they seemed to be sinking farther down. Finally, they hit the bottom of the pool. Sylvia looked around. She was standing on the bottom of the pool, her feet slightly buried in the soft sand. For some reason she wasn't dying for air. She looked at Brett, who was making the same discovery she did.

Suddenly, Brett looked at Sylvia, and she thought he looked like he was about to pass out. His eyes got wide, and he pointed at her. She was confused. Then she saw it. Only not about herself. It was Brett. His cargo shorts had changed into long black pants, and his t-shirt was now a black, almost flowing shirt with strips of dark purple and dark blue floating off the sleeves. What Sylvia didn't know is that her own shorts and t-shirt had been changed into a short, flowing blackish-purple dress, with the same tattered purple and blue strips. Her hair was no longer free, but done in a messy yet elegant up-do. They stared at each other for the longest time, forgetting that they were still submerged in the pool. Finally Brett looked up and pointed toward the surface. This time, they were able to swim up.

When they reached the surface, Sylvia looked around. “Um, Brett? Is it just me or is this place bigger?”

“It's bigger.” he replied. “And we can't get out of the pool now.”

Well, they managed to get out, but the world itself was bigger now.

“What happened?” Sylvia asked.

“I dunno, Syl. Somethin' isn't right about this.”

“Brett! Sylvia! Come here!” a voice hissed through the grass that was now as tall as they were.

They both whirled around. There was a girl about their age wearing almost identical clothes as Sylvia. She was motioning them over to her.

Brett went first. “Who are you, and how do you know our names?”

“I'm Isabella. But call me Isa.”

“So what happened? Why is the world so big?”

Isa laughed. “The world isn't big. You're small!”

Sylvia wasn't impressed. “Look, we got pulled into the pool in that cave and we came back up and the world grew.”

Isa stopped laughing. “Oh. I see. You're special then.”

“What?” Brett asked, totally confused.

“You've been changed.”

“What are we?”

“You're elves.”

“We're what!?” Sylvia and Brett shouted.

“Elves. Same as me. There's water elves, wood elves, water fairies, and wood fairies. And, of course, there's night elves and night fairies too. They're all good. The bad ones are the swamp elves and fairies, and the owls.”

“Owls?” Sylvia asked.

“They eat us.” Isa said nonchalantly. “But anyways, the elves changed by water in that pool are either water elves or night elves. I'm a water elf.”

“OK, so we're tiny little elves?” Brett finally found his voice.

Isa laughed again. “Yes! You're elves!”

Sylvia smiled. “Sweet!”

“But we have to take you to be tested. We have to find out if you're water or night elves. You're probably water elves, because night elves are extremely rare.”

So Sylvia and Brett followed Isa into the underbrush. She brought them to a very tall tree that had an elf-sized door in it. She opened the door, and they were greeted by a spectacular sight.

All the way up the tree were stair cases, lined with lights and miniature ivy winding its way up. It was bright and filled with elvish music. Elves climbed the stairs to the different levels of the hollow tree, where there was dancing, food, and drinks. Isa took them to the other side of the ground floor and opened a door on the other side. She grabbed a light from the wall and led them inside.

When Brett shut the door, the jubilee on the other side died away into eerie silence. Isa walked silently down the tunnel until they reached yet another door. It was here that she stopped.

“When you go in, say nothing. Look at the floor. Let me do the talking.” and she walked into the room.

Brett and Sylvia saw nothing but the silvery floor. But really, the room was a dark blue with silver stars and moons painted on the walls. There was an opening in the ceiling, and the full moon was just beginning to peep into it. On a throne above them sat an ancient elf. The only reason Brett and Sylvia knew he was there is because Isa addressed him.

“Frederick, I have brought two elves to be tested.”

“The full moon has not yet reached its peak.” the elf protested.

Isa glanced at the opening. “It will in a matter of moments. It will take long enough for you to get down here, so the moon's position should not be a problem in the slightest.”

A snort turned into a chuckle. “Your wit, Isabella, is marvelous. I am coming.”

“You can look up now.” Isa hissed to the other two.

Sylvia now saw everything I have described to you. She looked first at the moon, just coming into view.

“This room is the moon room. Frederick tests the new elves here by moonlight on the full moon.” Isa explained.

“What does this testing involve?” Brett asked.

“When the moon shines down in here, its light searches for new elves, and it reveals their power to Frederick.”

“Isa? Are you human as well?” Sylvia asked.

“No. I am a full elf. The human elves are rare, as most get changed into fairies, and most won't tell you anyways, because they don't want anyone to know. You also must keep quiet while you are in the world as a human.” Isa's voice was grave.

It was as Isa predicted. It took Frederick a long time to get to the bottom of the stairs. In fact, the moon was almost in prime position when he hobbled over to them. Sylvia thought he looked like a wizard, with his moon-and-stars gown and his pointed purple hat.

Sylvia instantly liked the old elf. He peered at them from little eyes, squinted and surrounded by laugh lines and wrinkles. His little spectacles perched on his pert little nose, and the way he stroked his beard as he peered was so comical that Sylvia almost laughed aloud.

Finally Frederick looked up at the moon. “Come on, moon! Even I am faster than you these days.”

As if the moon really listened to and understood Frederick, it moved ever so much over the opening in the roof and the room began to change. The silver stars and moons on the walls began to glow, and moonlight filled the room. Frederick's moons and stars glowed too, and Sylvia noticed that the color of her dress was changing. It went from dark purple to a deep blue, then pitch black, then the darkest green, then back to the original blackish-purple. Brett's color changed as well. Only his went from black to green, then to blue, and back to black.

Frederick closed his eyes and opened his arms to the moon. Then it passed and the room went back to normal.

Isa was impatient. “Well, Fred?”

“Most unusual.” Frederick mumbled. “Most unusual indeed.”

“What!?” Isa asked again.

“What are your names, elves?”

“Sylvia and Brett.” Brett said, totally confused.

“Brett, the moon has revealed that you are a water elf. Your power is telepathy and you can control most forms of water. Sylvia.” he paused. “I have seen only one elf like you in all of my 142 years. You are a night elf, but your powers are phenomenal. You have telepathy as well, but you control electricity, wind, you can control things with your mind, and you can control the night. Isa, take Sylvia to see Jayden. He'll know what to do. Brett, hang with Isa. She's a water elf too, and she can teach you to control your powers.