This has been a hard year. I can usually come up with a few things to be thankful for on Thanksgiving without nay trouble. But yesterday when I was thinking about what I was actually thankful for, I found myself experiencing a bit of a struggle.
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite "family" holiday. We usually spent it with my mom's family, which meant a house full of people, grandpa getting up at 6am to start the turkey (which is the middle of the night to a kid... aw who am I kidding it's still the middle of the night), and the delicious goodies my sister, cousins, and I would get to sample as grandma's "taste testers". Obviously all of that is gone now.
For me, family thanksgiving was my grandma. Even when I started going to Tuck's family events I still thought about her and missed her and looked forward to Christmas with her.
So what is there to be thankful for (other than the cliché life, house, food, etc.) when the one reason my favorite holiday is my favorite holiday no longer exists?
Her.
I'm thankful for her. My grandma. That I got to spend the first 21 years of my life knowing her, loving her, and being loved by her. My grandma loved everyone, but the love she had for her grandchildren was special in its own way. And I'm thankful I got to experience that. I'm thankful for everything she did for me. I'm thankful for her example, her wisdom, and her blessing. I'm thankful that she got to meet my husband-to-be. And I'm thankful that she's watching over me now.
They say the first year is the hardest. Now I know why. I wasn't expecting to hurt, or cry, or miss her this much. I know she would want us all to enjoy today and be with our families. So that's what I'm going to do.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy your family--even if they drive you crazy--because someday they'll be gone.
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