Definition: You

I was reading a blog post by my friend Emily today and it inspired me.  Her post is here.  I've actually been thinking about this topic myself lately, so I thought it must be a sign that it's time to put my thoughts on the page.  But first let me ask you a question:

How do you define yourself?  How do others define you?  

If I were define myself the way I view myself, everyone reading this blog would disagree with me.  Most people see me as intelligent, beautiful, talented, likable, and in most cases pretty mature and grounded in what I want my life to be.  

Needless to say I disagree with that definition.  And I'd say that a lot of my readers' personal definitions of themselves wouldn't line up with what their friends, family, coworkers, etc. would define them as.  

So where do these definitions come from, and which one is the accurate one?  The first part of that question I can and will answer.  

Your definition of yourself comes from what you see in yourself that you do or don't like.  (At least for the most part)  You see yourself for how you are, but honestly most of those "facts" are based off of comparisons.  If I say "I'm too tall", the follow up question should be "Compared to what?" Because I guarantee there are women taller than 6'1''.  If someone looks in the mirror and says "I'm so fat." then I would ask "Compared to what?"  I weigh 144 pounds.  Compared to a petite, slender woman who weights 97.5 pounds, yes, I'm pretty heavy.  But compared to a linebacker on the MSU football team, I'm a bag of bones.  Tucker is always telling me I need to eat more.  So I guess a better question to ask yourself is "Who am I comparing myself to?"  And if you're looking at the cover of a magazine when you tell yourself your freckles aren't attractive, or that your butt is too big, or that your stretch marks are undesirable, then I'd say you need to shift your focus.  

The other part of your personal definition comes from what others say about you.  If you're constantly told, "You are such an idiot why do you even talk?" then your mind will eventually believe that what you have to say is indeed worthless and that your opinions don't matter.  If you're always told "You are really intelligent." then you will most likely believe that.  What others say really does have an impact on you, whether you think it does or not.  

I would like to add also that your internal belief of who you are is more powerful that what others say.  It doesn't matter if 10,000 people tell you you're smart, pretty, and personable.  If you don't believe that you are in your own heart, then you will never see yourself that way.  

So since we base our self-image off of comparisons, who or what should we be comparing ourselves to?  Well, I personally believe we should be comparing ourselves to Christ.  He is the ultimate example, and if you have given your heart to him, you should be striving to be like him.  When you stop looking around at everything you're not, and start looking up at everything He is, that is when you will have a correct view of yourself.  Because people let's face it, we aren't perfect.  We all do things we know we aren't supposed to do.  We lie, we cheat, we steal, and we cut people down.  So why do we compare ourselves to one another when we're all dirty, stained, and condemned.  What would you say to a serial killer on death row looking at another one and laughing at him saying "You killed 10 people?  I only killed 9!"  You'd laugh at them both.  They're both on death row.  They're both equally guilty and equally condemned.  What is the use comparing themselves?  

I've been honest with you people.  And I'll be honest now.  I compare myself to people all the time.  I wrote a couple years ago that I'm not ashamed of my scars.  That's not true.  How many "normal" people have those same scars?  Not many.  I've looked.  I compare myself to celebrities and to my peers.  I wonder why I can't have my life together like he does and why can't I have a complexion like her?  But it's because my focus is on the wrong things!  

If I compared myself to Jesus, my view changes.  Jesus has scars on his wrists.  Jesus probably didn't have the perfect complexion.  Jesus went through all the trials and problems that I face.  Why do I compare myself to another prisoner on death row when I'm not on death row anymore!?  Jesus paid my debt.  He took the punishment for me.  I don't have to live there anymore!  If we compare ourselves to Jesus then I think our lives will change dramatically.  If we listen to what Jesus says we are (in him) then maybe we would be confident in our identities.  

So there you go.  As always, I apologize if that makes no sense I just kind of write and don't think too much about what I'm saying.  I hope you all enjoy your week and I'm gonna go back to my book and write about warriors and things.  Bye-o!