Response: Michelle Duggar's Sex Advice

Link to original Article here.

I would recommend reading the original article before you read my response to it.

My boyfriend likes to remind me that I'll be 19 in two weeks.  I stubbornly refuse to turn 19, as 18 was too much fun.  That being said, however, I enjoy thinking and planning my life once I pass the age of 22, then 24, then about 28, and some various others.

• When I'm 22, I'd like to graduate and shortly thereafter get married.  
• When I'm 24, I'd like to graduate from law school.  
• When I'm 28, I'd like to be established in a path to a successful career and have a family. 

Now, since I'm the type of person that doesn't want to date around, I can easily see myself marrying my current boyfriend.  He feels the same way.  That being the case, we've talked about being married and all the things that entails.  One of those things, of course, is sex.  This is where Michelle Duggar comes in.  

Now, disclaimer.  I don't care about the Duggar's media presence.  I don't know all the kids' names, I don't care about what goes on in their lives.  I have a similar feeling about the Kardashians.  However, as I was scrolling through Facebook, the article title caught my eye:  "Michelle Duggar's Sex Advice: Do It, Even When You Don't Want To", and I thought "whaaaaaaa?", so I read it.  

I was disgusted.  

Along with many others I'm sure.  

I am by no means a feminist.  But I do think that when it comes to sexual pleasure, it needs to be somewhat equal.  Michelle says that even when you're "big pregnant" or dead tired after a long day with the kids at home, you still have to satisfy you're husband's sexual desires, because you're the only one who can give that pleasure to him.  Oh, and by the way, you have to be joyful about it.

Now wait one minute Michelle.  I have a few questions.  

1. Did you come up with this or is this something your husband trained you to believe?
2. Are you allowed to care about what you want?  
3. Or is your husband's very wish always your command?

OK, those questions being asked, this is what my boyfriend and I have talked about.  

• My sexual desires are important and need to be considered.
• If it were up to him, we'd probably be having sex way more than I'd realistically want.  
• My body isn't just for his gratification. 
• Sex isn't something he has a right to.  

If Tucker and I do end up getting married, do you think just because I say "no" to sex when I'm 9 months pregnant, or dead tired after a long day in court, that it would be right for him to get upset with me?  Would it be right for me to constantly bend my will and curb my need for rest just because he's feeling a little horny?  NO!  

Even in our dating relationship, Tucker is very careful to listen to me and when I say "no", he respects my decision.  Even if it's just "Hey are you feeling up to going shopping for x, y, or z with me?"  If I say, "Babe I've got a headache.  Can we get something to eat instead so I can take some medicine?", he doesn't mope and pout because he doesn't get to do what he wants.  Instead he grabs my hand and takes me to McDonald's, driving careful so I don't get worse, and makes sure that I'm OK.  And I'm sure without a shadow of a doubt that if I were 8 months pregnant puking in the toilet, he wouldn't be demanding that we have sex.  He'd be taking care of me.  Honestly people, the man gets upset with me when I hide that I'm not feeling well and go with him somewhere that I wouldn't go otherwise.  He literally scolds me when I do that!  I don't think he'd even let us have sex when I'm "big pregnant".  But maybe he's just special, I don't know.

But maybe that's not how the Duggars do things.  I know nothing about them.  I don't really care either.  Maybe that is how Michelle really thinks and her husband just goes along with it.  I don't know.  I hope her husband doesn't really feel that she's just there for his sexual gratification because "anyone else can make him a sandwich".  But if he does, then... well... I have nothing to do but shake my head and walk away.  

What do you think?  What's your opinion on Michelle Duggar's statements?  For those of you that are married, how do you and your spouse handle the sometimes different sexual needs of the other?  For those of you that aren't married, how do you want that issue to be resolved when you are married?  

I guess that was a bit more like a Muttering.  Oh well.  Write at you later.